I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
