Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
