How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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