bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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