Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize