1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just found a bag of teeth...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
