I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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