toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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