id be glad to
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize