I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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