VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
