i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
