My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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