drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
