i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
