Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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