You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
