HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
