I puked a lego.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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