grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I forgot how hot balto sounded
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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