There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
