yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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