The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
