we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
