It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize