I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize