Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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