If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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