I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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