he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
