it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
