porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize