Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
