somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize