Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
