Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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