I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
