we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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