Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
