Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
