I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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