**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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