she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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