I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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