What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize