was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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