The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
