Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
