Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
