That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He passed out mid-signature
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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