Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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