Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
