Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
