got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
