I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Who died my cat blue again?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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