I just pynch a tree in the face
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
