How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
