apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize