with your own penis?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
