Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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