Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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