sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
