Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize