She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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