Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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