ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
