so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
