I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i think i just lost a toe
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