did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I forget how to act sober
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