I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
