Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Everclear isn't food dammit
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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